Reasonable dating expectations
television series -- spawned not only a book, but a dating revolution that, for a while, turned many singles' lives upside down.
At the core of the shake up: A philosophy that told us if your partner isn't giving you the attention you expect, don't hang around and wait for change - just move on.
So, tossing away someone simply because they want to take it slow could turn out to be a big mistake. Sadock, MD, notes that getting swept up in romantic desire is not, in and of itself, a bad thing, as long as we don't subject our partner to our fantasies too soon.
"If there's this kind of desperation to get things moving too fast, it just pushes the other person away," says Sadock, a professor of psychiatry at NYU School of Medicine.
"Ideally, you should expect that you and your partner will feel closer at 10 months than you did at one month," Sadock tells Web MD.
Psychologist Dennis Lowe, Ph D, offers this advice to increase your odds of success: Think a little bit less about what you from the relationship and a little bit more about what you can bring to it.
"Some people, particularly those who rush into marriage, have this idea that they are going to be madly in love with their partner 24/7. Research shows that at least part of that initial "WOW" feeling we get with our partners may have more to do with fluctuations in brain chemistry than flutters of the heart.
They firmly believe that not only is it going to always be this way, but that it always be this way," says Lowe. "When a man and woman fall for each other, it is in our biological best interest to become a little bit obsessed with each other.
It was already known that serotonin levels drop in folks who have OCD. So, it was no surprise to find a low level of the transport chemical in this group."I always tell my female clients not to have sex until he says 'I love you' -- because if you become intimate too soon you'll be thinking 'Oh, now we're a couple,' while he's thinking 'Oh boy that was sure fun,'" says Darnay, author of the book .The end result, she says is that one partner is playing by one set of relationship rules, while the other may not even be on the game board.So how do you keep yourself from expecting too much too soon?How do you know when to hold on and when to let go?