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When we do choose to come out, the process is more complicated than just saying, “I’m bi.” Yes, bisexuality means the possibility of falling in love with boys, girls and/or non-binary people.
But it’s also being pulled between two worlds, even when you can’t find a place in either one.
Somehow, once we’re in a monogamous relationship, and it may look like we’ve “picked a side,” things get more confusing.
We constantly have to choose between coming out over and over again, or being read as gay or straight from the outside—regardless of how we actually identify.
I remind myself that as long as bisexuals, our partners and our allies don’t challenge assumptions that we’re gay or straight, kids like my high school self are going to continue being told they’ll eventually pick a team.
I have fought too hard to make peace with my identity to sit back, relax and contribute to bisexual erasure. This year at Pride, I’m painting the word “queer” on my cleavage and bringing a giant “bisexual” flag instead of the standard-issue rainbow.
In college, after two years of striking out with lady and non-binary crushes, I once again felt desperate.
” I sighed, glaring at the heteronormative couples in the wedding magazines.“I’m really more worried about you getting mad,” he responded.
“For the sake of everyone else, do what makes you happy.”So I committed to making my wedding as happy as possible.
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